sari-sari

What I’d Do Working in a Sari-Sari Store

In the Philippines they have these things called sari-saris. They’re stores typically attached to homes where you can buy just about any essential product needed. The Philippines has a shortage of super morbidly obese people so it wouldn’t make sense to build any WalMarts. This is why sari-sari stores are so popular.

jessy mendiola fat
This is Jessy Mendiola–a Filipino who was bashed for being too fat. I suppose she could drop half an ounce to look more human.

Sari-saris are everywhere, apparently. I didn’t notice many because Jenny wouldn’t allow me to stay in the sun for too long. She has this “thing” about not wanting to see me burn alive.

I’m not sure I could ever work in a sari-sari store as a salesperson. What I could do is sit there as a special attraction.

“Come see the amazing white monster of the west! Only 100 pesos to witness the living dead in-person and without much color!”

The above is what I’d have my handler yell. Then I’d run up to the cage and snarl at the Filipinos who paid their week’s jeepney fair to see a white person in the pasty flesh.

Aside from this, I’m not sure I could ever help out much at a sari-sari shop.

sari-sari
This particular sari-sari store looks like a human/potato chip prison.
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