bees in winter

Jenny Survived Winter: Can She Master Her First American Summer?

My darling wife managed to survive her first winter in the United States. It was a moderately friendly one with limited snow and warmer than usual temperatures. Next year may not be so kind. Winter is cruel and vengeful. Winter has a vagina.

bees in winter
I’m still impressed she was able to take off her gloves long enough for a two-fie. I’m far more ashamed that I understand what a two-fie is.

Summer is now here and Jenny is on a mission to survive this as well. After living through the latter part of autumn, all of winter, and then spring it’s only summer she has not experienced. You’d think coming from the Philippines means she’d embrace the heat in similar fashion to the way a normal person will a smelly fart after their allergies clear up.

One thing to know about Filipinos is that although they live in the tropics, they hate every moment of it.

There are times when Jenny feels hotter than I do; and I don’t just mean when I’m wearing a frumpy dress and am on my period and totally know I’m not hot at all. Somehow, my pale white skin deals with the heat better than hers. I think it’s the type of heat in the US compared to the Philippines. Whenever I’d be outside while there, my back suddenly turned into Louisiana. I can manage far better while in the United States even on the hottest days.

louisiana swamp
The worst part of all from having a Louisiana swamp back is the laws are 100 years outdated.

Jenny didn’t have the luxury of an air conditioner at home in the Philippines. This makes it even more amazing that she never shriveled up and became a raisin. Life without AC seems impossible to me. Even though we have it in only one room in our apartment now, we’re able to cool off on those days where the sun shows no forgiveness.

I have no doubts my wife will last through summer. After all, we get to spend my birthday together in early fall. If buying me presents isn’t motivation enough to continue living then our marriage is doomed.

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