Ugly & Married: What More Could We Ask For?

Yes. Four days ago we ignored all the warnings and wisdom of this modern, existentialist, Trump-supporting society and did what only the conformist losers and ugly people do: we got married.

And it was by far the happiest day of our lives.

This is what happiness looks like for ugly losers.

When Timmy and I started talking over four years ago, we never in our wildest dreams thought we’d end up saying inappropriate marriage vows to each other. Or to even end up saying any kind of vows to anybody at all at that point (at least I didn’t). We were just WordPress bloggers seeking for validation through every views, likes, and comments we get–checking our Blog Stats every few minutes or so. Back then, our greatest goal was to be Freshly Pressed and get superficial comments from everyone in the Blogosphere who pretended to read the full length of our blog posts. We wanted to belong to yet another manifestation of those dreadful high school cliques we like to pretend we don’t give a fuck about–the only difference is now, these people do it behind their computer screens and half-assed writing clustered together in their own little nook in the Internet.

(Why am I so angry, Timmy? WHYYYY?!! *stomps foot and farts uncontrollably*)

Anyway…

Yeah, we never expected we would meet our future spouses in WordPress. Not only that, but we were originally distanced by over 8,000 miles with the Pacific hindering us from one direction, and more countries than I could probably spell out from the other. All odds were against us. He is White and I am Asian. Union between these two shouldn’t happen unless you want to have an offspring that is either an alien or a psychopath. Or both, really.

It was as long distance as you could get as far as long distance relationships go. We weren’t in the fucking opposite sides of one country. We were in the opposite sides of the world! Not to mention we had previous “unfortunate” experiences when it comes to LDRs (cock pictures and voiceless Skypes, among the plethora of the defining characteristics from these experiences–which deserve their own post). We even advised–when we started becoming quite good confidants/pseudotherapists to each other–against involving ourselves with LDRs again.

But the heart wants what it wants.

And the brain and all logic and precaution in the world could whine for an eternity about it and that wouldn’t change a thing.

So (if you follow this blog at all) you know how we abandoned these precautions and doubts we have had in the beginning. And went head-on stubbornly, tirelessly, devotedly pursuing each other, with the ultimate big goal (stop laughing, Timmy) of being together forever.

Right now, we have just made the very first step of fulfilling our goal. And we have never been happier. Because after all:

Happiness is not a disease.

Happiness is us together.*

Do you see that fire alarm in the background? That actually went off the morning after our wedding. We’re getting all the signs how it was a bad idea. But as how Maury’s guests would so wisely remind us: “WHATEVA! I DO WHAT I WANT!”

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*Last two lines are actual last two lines of Mr. Bee’s vows, whilst mine were filled with poop references. Yes, yes. He’s always been the adorable one.