Our Wedding Was Cheaper Than You Realize

I was informed by my now wife that I left out a few things in the most recent post regarding how cheap our wedding actually was. For all the penny pinching we did, I failed to truly reveal how tastefully tasteless we were in certain elements. Looking at the pictures you never would’ve guessed how ghetto-rigged some of our featured items truly were. Tonight, I’d like to share with you how creatively MacGyver-ish we were.

Exhibit One: The Bouquet

Somebody is impressed with her creativity.
Somebody is impressed with her creativity.

It was only days before the wedding when Jenny brought up the fact that we didn’t have anything planned for the bouquet. How was I supposed to know? To me, flowers are a pattern on old women’s dresses. I don’t know where to get them or what looks nice. Thankfully we did find some really pretty ones the night before at a local farmer’s market run by Chinese people or possibly Japanese people who have built Chinese robots to do all of the work for them. Who knows? I didn’t splash water on any to find out for sure.

The bouquet purchasing was easy, but the assembly was a little tougher. I guess you can’t just buy them at the store and everything is good. So, being the inventive woman that she is, Jenny wrapped the base of the flowers with toilet paper to cover the stems. On the morning of our wedding, she also tied some cheap ribbon I got from the grocery store around the toilet paper to make it look a little nicer (and to possibly cover poop stains).

Nobody was none the wiser. They never would’ve guessed the bouquet was assembled with hotel toilet paper, $1.34 ribbon, and a few minutes of hard work.

Exhibit Two: The Ring Holders

The best ring holder Rite Aid has to offer.
The best ring holder Rite Aid has to offer.

We had a beautiful setup to hold our rings which we still use now whenever we remove them. It wasn’t until the night before our wedding when we realized a ring holder was needed. We checked a local dollar store first only to find that our options were limited to cheap candy and black Santa Claus figurines. So, we got a little more creative.

At the pharmacy, we found small picture frames. Jenny angrily (I assume) ripped off the back of one and turned it into a nice little decorative display. Since she also has beautiful handwriting, she could make it look more elegant by writing our names on the inside. This became a centerpiece in our wedding ceremony and it was just a broken picture frame. Like they say, a broken picture frame is only right twice a day. My wife, however, is right all the time!

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