A Taste of Home-ba

It’s been a few weeks since Jenny entered the despicable lair known as my home. Less than a week after she did we were fortunate enough to stumble upon a Filipino grocery store. And by stumble upon I mean via specific search for on Google. That’s pretty much how people discover anything these days. Screw adventuring into the unknown. I’m not going anywhere without first looking at a map online, purchasing a GPS, and calling ahead to make sure they’re still open.

Filipino food isn’t so outrageous that it’s impossible to find in this area. The Filipino population bests the Mohicans, Samurai, and Action Heroes combined. Because of this, a Filipino supermarket selling many of our favorite dishes is only a short trip away.

Already we’ve visited this place twice. On the first journey we came back with enough food to end famine. Chips, condiments, chips, some sweets, and other chips highlighted our purchase. We also got banana cues. And when I pluralize it, I don’t mean we each got one. Banana cues are not the easiest to find as American prefer suing each other instead.

This is a woman named Sue. Americans love to talk about her whenever they slip in supermarkets because their bodies are too fat to support them.
This is a woman named Sue. Americans love to talk about her whenever they slip in supermarkets because their bodies are too fat to support them.

Jenny was able to find her favorite coffee, vinegar, and cheese at this store. Import prices on the cheese are completely ridiculous as it cost nearly $10 for one large stick. It wasn’t even Swiss cheese; the one you can have sex with. Well, I guess you could have sex with this cheese if you’re willing to receive. I’m not. I’m a giver. Except at Christmas. That’s when I’m a getter.

After shopping we headed to a nearby Filipino restaurant. We got the large rice which was enough to support us for another meal or two. Jenny also got to order in Tagalog. Or maybe she was asking for help. I’m not sure. My Rosetta Stone got wet and the pages are stuck together.

One of the big reasons for this day trip was to get some specific ingredients for our first cooking session together. Originally we planned to make humba that evening. Instead, we waited until the next day to cook it. Then we made more on Friday. We even bought rice from a fat Chinese kid! He answers the phones there and I’m pretty sure Jenny is having an affair with him.

"Hi Jenny. Has Timmy gone to work? I give you my egg roll." - Jenny's secret lover
“Hi Jenny. Has Timmy gone to work? I give you my egg roll.” – Jenny’s secret lover

Those tastes of home will have to go away for a bit as Jenny and I attempt to diet. So far we’ve done very well. Each night we smell each other’s breath just to make sure. We pretend it’s a kiss, but both secretly know it’s not.

Our Filipino cooking adventures aren’t nearly over yet. For Thanksgiving we plan on making Mango Float; a dessert so delectable I capitalized it. In about two weeks, we can also completely let ourselves go because it’ll cost $399 to get rid of one another.

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