Old People Would Rather Watch Batman vs Superman than Jungle Book in the Philippines

No beecation is complete without watching at least one movie in the theater. Beecations are the only time Timmy and I get to do this so we go out of our way for it (as in get up from bed, ugh such a hassle).

The day we decided to watch a movie happened to be a Monday. If you’re in the Philippines, you’d realize that Mondays are Free Movies for Senior Citizens day. Yep, every Monday of the week. This is only one of the reasons why I want to be eighty already. The main reason is so I could say all the offensive things I think about all the time (e.g. fuck people fuck fuck fuck stop feeding me I want to poop) and get away with it.

When Timmy and I reached the ticket booth for the cinemas (we have decided before we got out of bed earlier that day that we wanted to watch “The Jungle Book”, there was one counter with a long queue of human beings ranging from sixty onwards. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a hundred-year-old movie watcher there. I would take advantage of this privilege too if I were a hundred-year-old and not yet demented and/or homicidal.

Timmy was actually excited of the possibility we’d be watching a movie with our peers. When we entered the theater after emptying our bladders, we were disappointed to see not one senior person there.

“Where are all our peers? Why are we the only decent human beings here?” Timmy asked.

Apparently, they’d rather watch Batman vs Superman.

Yep. They'd rather watch Ben Affleck hide his expressionless face in a bat suit.
Yep. They’d rather watch Ben Affleck hide his expressionless face in a bat suit.

Even among our own age group, Timmy and I still happen to be the boring ones. It doesn’t matter though. We had a lot of fun watching the non-Disney (a.ka. the Better/Closer to original) version of the story and dancing to the lively songs, especially that one sang by the ugly giant orangutan.

The only downside to this whole experience was the sounds of glee and laughter from the kids on the row behind us. How dare they have as much fun as we did?! They’re still young and have a lot of life ahead of them. They should have let us have most of the fun, goddammit!!!

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