Bananas Are a Great Reason to Get Married

Realizing I have only a few weeks to lose all of the weight I gained over the winter (which was probably just five pounds and it was the same five pounds I lost last fall before visiting Jenny) I’m attempting to diet a little bit better. We have our trip booked and unlike last time when I was confidently slimming down prior, I’m carrying a little extra baggage. We’ll spend two weeks together this time around and I will surely come back looking heftier than ever thanks to all of the food we plan to devour.

This is the cruel part about having unconditional love. No matter how fat I get, Jenny will love me. It’s not fair. She is the worst motivation to diet. She should at least threaten me in some ways. Maybe if she knew me when I was really big she would think differently.

Beginning this most recent Monday I decided I would eat more fruit, particularly for lunch. I’m trying to avoid trips to the vending machine at work even if my choices are generally healthy processed food. I know that sounds like an oxymoron. Anything that could survive the Apocalypse is probably made of cockroach. Everything inside of a vending machine would survive the Apocalypse therefore there is a missing ingredient.

I’ve been bringing oranges and bananas to work to munch on and curb my appetite throughout the day. I finished my oranges quickly and now I have way too many bananas left over as they begin to rot before my eyes. I can’t just eat them either. I’m on a diet, remember? Even bananas have calories.

Banana Jim
“In the future everyone will have their 15 minutes of fame…except bananas. They only last for 2 minutes.” – unknown

Typically when you buy bananas you get them in a bunch. Included are anywhere from five upwards of ten. This is a lot of bananas to eat in such a short period of time. If you have a partner to help you out then you can avoid wasting money on them or shoving them all in your mouth before they turn fully black. There are a lot of reasons I want to marry Jenny. Within the top five is to help me finish my bananas.

Jenny is a great woman. The day she is able to help me not let fruit go to waste is the one where she becomes extraordinaire. Good thing we’re finally moving our Visa process along. Oh this is scary yet exciting.

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