I’m Meeting My Fiancé in Less than Two Months So I Need to Lose Weight Fast

Because Timmy won’t go through with the wedding unless I’m at least 120 lbs maximum.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ugh, that is so impossible to do now. I can’t lose 100 lbs in two months! Timmy loves me anyway no matter what weight I am. Right, Bee??!

I REALLY do wanna lose a bit of weight before Timmy arrives…even though I am doing an awful job proving it. At least I’d have the same weight I had during last beecation. See, according to more than one (i.e. many) coworkers, I apparently gained weight. Because of course, that is something people–especially women–will never fail to remind/rub to their fellow human beings.

What an incredibly wonderful world this is. 

Anyway, yes, I’m trying to lose weight by minimizing AND modifying what I eat. I pretty much know how to lose weight as much as anyone else. It’s the doing that’s hard. In theory, all you really need to do is to drink lots of water, eat a can of tuna, and eat lots of green leafy stuff every day to lose weight and not die (DISCLAIMER: That’s just a personal recipe, so if you follow and die, then rest in peace).

Right now, I am failing at my diet. AGAIN. Just today I ate oatmeal, a boiled banana, nuts, tuna, bitter gourd w/ egg, french fries, Chicharon (see image below), a raisin cookie, Turon (see image below), a cheese bread, fried fish, rice, and seaweed. 

images
Chicharon. The closest name you may identify this with is pork rinds. It’s fantastic with spicy vinegar. Gah, I want now! (Image from Google, of course. No one uses Yahoo anymore.)
images (1)
Turon, or as Wiki says, “a Philippine snack made of thinly sliced bananas and a slice of jackfruit, dusted in brown sugar, rolled in a spring roll wrapper and fried.” And I ate a double extra large piece earlier, too bwahaha! (Google, thanks again. Especially for replacing bulky living room encyclopedia sets.)

That’s 13 different things in all. Just with the French fries alone, I probably broke my calorie limit for the day.

I am hopeless.

But I do not fret–well not as much as I otherwise would. Because I would rather enjoy when I finally get an excuse to eat feast. Because as Timmy reminds me, someday we’re going to be starving artists anyway, and we won’t be able to afford three square meals a day.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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